She woke up in sweats….

in a panic that he was still sharing the same bed.  Her mind was playing tricks on her, making her believe that she hadn’t really left and that his abusive comments would start up anytime soon.  While she cleared the sleep from her eyes, she felt around her bed, like a blind person, hoping her hands would answer her tormented mind.  She felt nothing.  No one else was sharing her bed, but she wouldn’t believe it until she could see clearly.  As the fogginess of sleep subsided and she could see her bed clearly, her hands did not lie.  She was alone….and the excitement began to swell.  Her heart, once beating with anxiety, now beat with excitement.  A smile so big the neighbors no doubt saw it, was on her face.  She laid her head back down on her pillow and she began to giggle.  Not a small cute giggle, but a giggle that only happens when true happiness surrounds your soul.  Tears began to flow from her sleepy eyes and she hugged every pillow on HER bed.  Her bed….wow.  She had really done it, she had really left the prison of her marriage, and today was the first feeling of freedom in eight years.  While lying on her bed, she peered into HER bathroom and again smiled to herself as she looked at the flowery shower curtain.  He never would have approved, and that is why she loved it so much more.  She stepped out of bed and realized, she could wear to bed what she wanted without being told she wasn’t sexy.  She looked at her sweat pants and tank top and did the sexiest dance she could muster that early in the morning.  Freedom, what a wild, crazy concept.  She felt proud.  She felt in love…with herself.  She was dating herself and getting to know herself one day at a time, but today, she really did fall back in love with herself.


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Filed under My past, My thoughts

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