I’m not getting what the big deal is…

I mean, I’ve lived the hetro life and the lesbo life now.  I’m still not understanding why people are having issue with the way I do it now.  I pay bills.  I watch TV with my kids.  We go on vacations.  I still kiss owies better.  I still work.  I still help with homework and reading….seriously, what’s so different.  Oh that’s right, it’s the sexual act….hmmm.  Weird that others think about my sex life more than I do.  I still sit on this couch being involved (as ever) as I did when I was married to him.  So raising my two kids (well 3 but I’m not supposed to mention him either) with two moms is so different how?  I mean they aren’t involved with my sex now and they weren’t then.  I just want to set up a website asking these important questions because so far no one has been able to explain to me how my kids having two mom’s is disruptive, negligent or otherwise unhealthy.  I’ve heard, “well its just wrong.”  Ummmm ok, but how?  I’ve heard, they need a mom and dad.  How about those poor unfortunate children that are missing moms and dads because they were killed in war?  The typical response I get is, its different.  Again, ummmmm, how?  One, two, hell twenty people involved in raising a child, regardless of gender, is still love and involvement right?  Am I way off here?  Rizzi leaving my kids lives would be just as devastating as when him and I got divorced.  Period.  Their love does not have gender, labels or guidelines.  The adults are the ones that make it difficult for children.  ALLof us are a clean slate when born and are indoctrinated with love, or hate.  Stop fighting, start loving and move the fuck on!!


As for court drama, paperwork will be filed tomorrow, but who knows if she will really sign it.  She has worked so hard this summer to convince him that he hates it here.  She has done her best to convince him that Rizzi loves me more.  Sick!!  So sick.  How can she hug him, tell him that she loves him, do what she does for him and then twist his mind.  I am currently reading Prozac Nation, (good read) and all I can think about is that this is M.  He is going to be so bitter and confused at some point, if not already.  I can only imagine the feelings of loss, confusion, anger and hurt he must feel daily.  He doesn’t even have the opportunity to figure this all out on his own.  Mind you, Rizzi and I try not to talk to him about the “big people stuff” but that has to be just as confusing.  He is getting one-side of a story and isn’t sure that it’s the truth half the time.  Or he invests and banks on the fact that she is telling him the truth and then his world crumbles when he’s told differently.  God I hate this, more than I ever thought I would.  I want to rescue him but am helpless.  She is evil, spiteful and a control freak.  Why can’t she see what she is doing to him????


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Filed under Family Time, Frustration, My thoughts, Relationships, Worry

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