On Aug. 20th…

7 years ago you were born at 9:45am.  What a crazy day.  On Aug 19th I was sitting on the porch with Diane.  The pressure was so much different than Wyatt.  It was more like not being able to breath, but no pain was associated with it.  I’d be in the middle of a sentence and I’d have to stop talking, and then I’d pick up where I left off.  Diane kept insisting to call Andy, he was in Richfield for “one last hooray with the boys.”  Diane was so mad at him for leaving, knowing my history of having early babies.  Her due date was Aug. 25.  At 10:00 am Diane was handing me phone after phone insisting that I call.  I thought it would serve him right to miss out, but knew that wasn’t the truth of how I felt.  With Wyatt we were in the hospital daily and I never experienced true labor pains….I was always to doped out of my mind to know what a contraction felt like.

I remember stories of my mom and grandma sitting around playing rummy when she was expecting me.  They played for hours until the right moment.  So with history in mind I asked Diane if she’d like to play rummy with me.  We sat on the porch on that scorching summer day, sipping lemonade and playing rummie.  Diane made us dinner.  Wyatt must have known mommy need a rest, because that cute 13 month old boy was quite and content, not needing so much.  While Diane cooked dinner I started to feel the intensity of my contractions.  Instead of taking my breath away, they had me stopping all activity and just pausing in any situation.  By 6:00 pm I was certain that I would be in the hospital within a 24 hour period.  Diane begged me to call Andy.  I called him.  His questions were insane. “Are you sure it’s time.”  How the hell did I know?  Instead, I just told him not to drink so if he had to drive home he could.  I hung up and had to face Diane’s flabbergasted face.  I just shrugged.  I pulled Wyatt on my slim lap.  I rocked with him, sang to him and began telling him stories of his little sister to come.  Through the pain I stood up and carried my little man to his crib.  I stopped a couple times to regroup, but made it to his room and slipped him into his crib.  I made my way to the front room, with Diane’s help of course, and sat on the couch and talked with Diane about everything and nothing.  She would rub my back, my feet and gave the best impromptu mother’s massage a girl could ask for.

At 9:00 pm I was certain she was coming.  I called Andy and told him he needed to come home.  He sounded….I don’t know actually.  I was certain he was going to miss it and I was mad at myself for not being more firm in telling to come home earlier.  So now, instead of worrying about myself I was worried about him making it.  I remained on my couch and tried to push aside anxiety and just enjoy the calm before the storm.  I knew it would be at least two hours before he got home.  Diane called her husband at the time, to come to the house, as she was going to stay the night with Wyatt while I was at the hospital.  I started thinking about my experience with Wyatt and had to tell myself to calm down, that it was different this time.  I promised myself that I wouldn’t have to see Cheyenne in the same state as Wyatt.  I was unable to hold Wyatt, as he was born dead, so he was whisked away quickly and my only glimpse of my son was a pure purple body that flopped with each movement of the nurse.  I quickly pushed that image out of my head and tried to focus on a healthy pink little girl leaving my body.  I was so mad at him then, so mad that I couldn’t tell him I was scared.  Instead I put on my “Marcy can do anything and not be afraid” face and started another round of rummy with Diane.

It was 11:30 pm.  Diane was more restless than I was.  Though the contractions were stronger and more frequent, I wasn’t a screaming ball of pain so I figured I had called him to soon.  I became anxious that he would be upset that I called to soon.  I told Diane this fear and she shot fire out of her eyes….I swear.  He came in the small apartment and said he just had to throw some things together for me.  Foolish man, Diane was way ahead of him.  He grabbed my bag and helped me off the couch.  To this day, looking back, I wanted Diane with me so badly.  Andy thanked her for staying with me and watching Wyatt.  I hugged her like I wouldn’t again…foolish I know, but I was so torn with my feelings at that moment.  It should be noted that Diane conceived Jaylynn on this night….at my house…..naughty girl!!

He helped me up the million damn stairs of that complex.  We got into the car.  I was contemplating if I should call my sister and mom, but decided to wait until we got to the hospital to ensure that I was going to be staying.  We arrived at ORMC at about midnight.  I waddled my way out of the elevator and headed to the desk.  To my dismay I can’t remember the nurses name, but we had such a connection.  It was like instant friendship.  She was so tender and sweet.  She jumped from her spot and said, “looks like someone is leaving with an extra special package today.”  I couldn’t help but smile through the pain and hug this wonderful woman.  She helped me set up a room and gave me those lovely dresses you don while in the hospital.  She had me lie on the bed so she could check to see my progress.  To our surprise I was dilated to a 6.  Not long now she promised.  She asked that I keep mobile so she gave me a special pair of socks and Andy and I began our rounds of the women’s center.  We passed the sleep research department, which I felt at the moment would be nice.  At 2:00am my incredible midwife showed up.  His name is Dale and he was the best.  The most gentlest of men.  He checked me.  He said he could break my water and we’d be on our way, but he said he wanted to go deliver a baby “really quick” and spend more time with me.  He explained that he’d have to rush me but that’s not what he wanted to do.. .so he left and I lied in bed.  I called my sister and mom.  At 4:00am they arrived.  I love having my sister with me, she is my calm.  She was the only person in my life at the time that could center and balance me.  Time ticked by slowly.  The needle doctor (epidural) showed up and he was THE best.  I had made the choice that Cheyenne would be my last baby so I asked if I could watch him give me my epidural.  He was shocked but fascinated that I wanted to watch.  They wheeled in a mirror and I watched, in a weird separated sorta way, the needle and the flimsy little tube push into my spine.  Weird, but oh so worth it.

It was 9:00 am when Dale returned.  He broke my water and just sat in my room and talked with us.  My last delivery was horrible to my body so Dale brought a special oil and began massaging the most private of areas so that I wouldn’t tear again.  I was amazed when I felt the need to push….a need that I can never express in words. I told Dale and, without missing a beat in the conversation, told me to push….so calm.  I pushed a long hard push, but no pain was felt, just pressure, so different than with Wyatt.  I stopped pushing and felt exhilerated.  No exhaustion all of a sudden.  It came again, that pressure and urge.  I just pushed and Dale was right there to assist.  We were the best team.  I have big love for him, thank god I get to see him yearly 🙂  

0945 hours in the morning and she left my body.  The umbilical cord cut and this big pink girl, all white and cheesy, was placed on my chest.  The tears fell from my eyes in delight.  I had NEVER seen someone so beautiful as her at that moment.  I felt that I would implode with the love that I felt for her.  She didn’t cry, she just looked around.  She found me and I smiled and cried and hugged her to my swollen breasts.  I kissed her head and told her, so quietly, welcome little one…I love you forever.  They scooped her gently, not in a manic rush to save her life, from my arms.  She still didn’t cry.  I asked Dale if she was ok.  Dale stopped what he was doing and held my hands and said, “she’s so perfect she’s content.”  That description is still true today.  She is my quite, tough, sweet independent girl.  

Happy Birthday Cheyenne….I love you forever!!!!


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Filed under Family Time, My kids, My past, My thoughts, Relationships

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