Monthly Archives: September 2008

Your kidding me right….

that’s the first thought that ran through my head as I read the email from ML.  He said that we would be canceling our first monthly social for a equal rights group.  I have volunteered time, which is precious and few at this juncture in my life.  Then I felt like a complete failure, not sure how the whole thing fell apart.  And then within a few hours of that email, we are back on.  It seems so flaky that I’m about ready to give up, and if you know me well that doesn’t happen to often.  To top that off, a friend of mine that does Mary Kay asked if I’d help her book one last party before the end of the month.  After a ton of emails were sent out, the only responses I got back were to let me know that no one would be showing up. . that’s great, another failure in my list of failed attempts this week.  I know it was short notice, but I so hoping I could help out a friend.  So I get ready to pick up my phone and let my friend know it’ll be the two of us hanging out and chatting more or less (which isn’t a bad thing) but I was hoping to help her sales and well frankly, I’m a poor bitch. 

Off to take a Tylenol PM and let the feeling of failure slip away 😦



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Filed under Frustration, My thoughts, Thinking of Friends, Worry

Do you have days….

that don’t have enough hours in them?  That’s how I felt yesterday.  Trying to tie up loose ends on a social . . While at work.  That’s always fun, trying to finish a personal project while on duty.  Calls in between duty calls.  Sheesh.  It was nice that it was busy at work, makes 12 hours go by much quicker.  I saw Mrs. JF, she looks so fantastic.  I decided, enough of excuses and made a lunch date with her Tues (YAY!!!)  The new schedule came out and I’m so excited about the crew I’m getting.  It should be nice, and they didn’t screw with my days off so I don’t have to panic about school.  School. . . wow, I’m surprised I have found time to even go.  I feel bad because I had to miss Wed and that was the day we have to work in groups.  Feelin like a slacker, but I’m sure the feeling will go away when some other “duty” comes up.

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For KLJ . . .

I promised I’d light you a candle.  It burned all night, and guess what. . it was still burning when I woke up.  It was a little votive candle.  Your GP is strong and not ready to leave until all of you know you will be ok without him.  He is hangin on to make the family strong with each other. What a leader he is. . no wonder you fight the way you fight. . with sincerity.  I’m so lucky to know you!!  I’m just trying to figure out if it burned all night because of your determination or his. . either way, all that surround the both of you are blessed to have you in their lives. 

For real, it gave me chills this morning.  


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Why, why, why…

do I subject myself to KSL comment board?  I wasted at least 3 hours today, talking with people that hate me, yet they don’t know me…I’m foolish!!

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Enough of the Fluff…

*Warning:  If you believe that I, or the reader, will go to hell for using “bad” words, please don’t read*

I’ve determined that the devil does not wear prada, she live in N Ogden and wears jeans and T-shirts.  I know I posted about my sisters wedding already, but I really have to vent.  You see, 3 months ago we sent J an email asking “permission” for M to be in the wedding.  True to form, she did not respond.  One month ago we sent another email explaining that we would like M in the wedding.  Still, no response.  We explained to M, on our 4th day of the month we are “allowed” to visit him, that we really wanted him in the wedding.  He was excited to get dressed in a Tux and strut about with his bad ass self.  Still, no response from J.  I talked with M and he told me, “my mom won’t let me go and said it was for personal reasons I wouldn’t understand.”  Fuck REALLY!!!  Tell him J… tell him your immature and can’t handle that Rizzi is moving on with life and enjoying it without you, therefore, you won’t let him have a good time with us.  It kills me, we let M go (on our holiday weekend mind you) to J’s partner family reunion.  Now mind you, the reason we gave up some of our time with him was so that he could enjoy his other family. . but when it comes to Marcy and her family. . well we just got the biggest Fuck off ever!  How can someone be so spiteful, mean and just selfish.  It’s killing me. . it’s killing Rizzi.  I fuckin’ can’t stand her her!!!!  She definitely brings out the bad in those around her.  M started arguing with me the other day, saying that we lie to him and J all the time.  It got so bad that I broke down and showed him emails between us and J.  He sat dumbfounded and confused, not knowing what to believe.  Though he did say she lied to him.  It sucks that I have to show a 9 year old what a liar his mom is but do I do?  Seriously, how do you combat that kind of hate?  I sooooo wanted to pick up my phone and call her and ask what the “personal” reasons were for keeping her son from his Aunt Jenny’s wedding.  I still want to.  I should do it right now, but I won’t cause all it does it’s gets her fired up and she lies to M and then Rizzi and I are the bad guys.



Filed under Family Time, Frustration, My thoughts, Relationships

I have to admit…

I soooo have a crush on a guy… not just any old guy, but Clint Eastwood.  God damn he’s perfect. . well, his characters are.  I LOVE Dirty Harry, he’s the perfect cop.  I so wish I could walk into work and use his shit.  I would love to see the reaction from officers and inmates.  I want to call them all punks, it would rock.  And Clint… can you get hotter than him in his thirties and forties?  I am watching Dirty Harry right now, and I so want to go into my administrators office and just tell it like it is… damn political correctness!


On a different note, went to school today.  I love school.  Don’t get me wrong, I have days that I really question my decision to go back, but overall I love the hell out of it.  It makes my brain feel useful.  I dropped my Linguistics course, it was kicking my ass and for a intro course, I just didn’t have the time it required.  So two courses. .I think that is the best plan anyways.  I don’t think I have the time to take 3 courses a semester.  It will take me longer than I hoped, but hell, I got a lot of years left in this body.

Do you ever wake up and want to clean, clean, clean?  That was me today.  I love the rain, it makes me so damn happy.  I love making the coffee, sitting with the windows open and smelling the earth cleanse itself.  So I scrubbed the floors.  I have beautiful wood floors so I love to wax them at least every other week.  With my surgery I couldn’t do it, but I bucked up today and cleaned.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m sooo paying for it, but it was worth it.  

Off to get munchkins from school!

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Filed under My kids, My thoughts, School

Who says a little rain ruins a wedding?

No really, it was so beautiful!!  My sister was married yesterday and it was incredible.  It was an outdoor wedding, so the weather was a little dicey, but it turned out fantastic.

On Thursday my aunts, Loyce and Diana, flew in from Florida.  YAY, my gay aunts were here 🙂  I spent Friday hanging out with family I haven’t seen for 12 years, but everything fell into place so nicely.  It’s like a day hadn’t passed when being with them.  We shopped, spent WAY to much money, ate lunch and had a family BBQ.  This is the first time Rizzi had met my aunts, and they sooo loved her (how couldn’t ya duh???)  I kept reminding Jenny it was her last day of being a Taylor, and we’d both cry….babies!

On Saturday, I woke up early, got ready and headed over to Jenny’s to help her load and pack all the necessary items to the house (a friends with the most incredible yard you’ve ever seen!)  It was nice to just hang out with Jenny, but it was CRAZY!  She just reconfirmed why I won’t do the whole ceremony thing with Rizzi.  Her wedding was to start at 1600 and at 1400 the storm came in with a vengeance.  As we were standing in the bathroom, Jenny curling her hair, she had no window to see the dark storm clouds, so she had no idea what the weather was doing.  That is until she heard the thunder.  With curling iron wrapped around her beautiful brown hair, she whipped her head in my direction and said, “is that fucking thunder?!?!”  I, in my meek timid voice affirm that it is indeed raining like no other, to which Jenny replies, “Marcy, go make it stop!!”  Well ok, it turns out I indeed control weather on the Wasatch Front.  I explained, that though she has been living in Utah her whole life, that weather changes quickly and she has nothing to worry about.  And thankfully I was correct.  At 1600 hours, when vows were being exchanged, it was glorious, sunny and no rain.  It was so beautiful, truly, I have never been to a wedding with TRUE love present.  They are so in love.  Livie, who was wearing a dress just like her mommas, slept through all the vows, but when the Jenny and Gregg said the “I will’s”  she woke up and giggled.  It was precious.  And when the priestess spoke of the element of water, it rained ever so slight.  As they walked off, towards the crowd, a double rainbow appeared in the background.  Soooo meant to be!  They are perfect for each other and I’m so happy for the both of them.  It was party time afterwards, and I mingled with everyone.  Lavely was there and hung out for the whole night.  It was so much fun…. I wish you all could have been there!!

Me and the Groom

Wyatt in his Tux

Chey and Rizzi all dressed up for the wedding

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