Monthly Archives: September 2008

How to type a weeks worth of crap…

in a small space…that is what I”m going to attempt to do.  Ok, so first off, have I mentioned that I had a recent visit from DCFS?  Wow, that was fun.  You see, we left M at home alone (I had a flat tire and my sexy girlfriend came to rescue me in Kaysville) and M wanted to stay home.  He has done this before, but it’s usually a shorter amount of time.  This kid is so responsible you don’t think twice, he’s 9 for Christ sake.  Before Rizzi left she turned on the stove, as M wanted to bake some lunch.  Well I had put cupcakes from Chey’s bday in the stove and forgot to take them out.  To M’s credit, he was so brave and smart.  He took the cupcakes out and remained calm.  When Rizzi returned M told him what happened and he was so proud that he did it on his own.  Well M, with good intentions, tells his other mom what happened.  She blew (like always) and called DCFS.  Two weeks later, Mr. DCFS is on my front porch and wants to talk with Rizzi and of course she is at work AND of COURSE I’m on Valium from my surgery.  Try keeping yourself together and not look like a druggy with Valium.  He came in and checked the house for smoke detectors.  He was so pleasant and seemed somewhat annoyed that he had to take a case on this petty shit.  My dumbass, as we walk past my fridge, says, “hey wanna check my fridge while your here, we got food.”  I so cracked myself up, and thank god he found it funny too….. fuckin Valium!  Case closed, new cell phone for kids.  How god damn hard is it for her to communicate with us?  Don’t get me wrong, the less contact I have with that . . you know. . the better off we are, but when it comes to talking about him, call anytime!!

Next thing… I dropped my Linguistics class.  It was soooo kicking my ass.  I got a D on my first exam and I studied like a mad woman!!  I just don’t have the time with work and kids to dedicate myself the way the class needs.  I for real cried when I got my grade.  I’m such a vagarina!

The other thing.  Found a friends blog.  I love to read about others, ecsepecially ones that have been there for you for years.  We are co-workers and friends, so I see her at work, but we rarely have the time to sit and really talk about each other, or we don’t share the deep dark shit at work.  It’s been nice to see her journey and battles.

I think that’s it.. . except I’m really annoyed with K, she is convincing my kids that I’m trying to take time away from her.  Seriously K, get over it, it’s not about you, it’s about me and my time with the kids.  Arrogant bitches, I’m surrounded by them! Sheesh.


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Filed under Frustration, My kids, My thoughts, Relationships, School, Thinking of Friends

To you…

who has been with me through so much, yet we can’t seem to find the time to meet up like we both want to.  Know that you, Mrs. JF, are always in my heart and in my mind.  You are an incredible gift and thank my goddess 🙂 daily that you are here on my journey.  You inspire me without saying words, you motivate me with your speech and you grace me with your presence when time permits.  I will continue to read about your journey!  You are a true friend and mentor to me and I will always be grateful that you let me borrow your lotion!!!  🙂


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So I have to brag…

because you see, I have the best kids EVER!!!  Since my surgery, I have been having to take a lot of meds.  Some of these meds, on occasion, make me feel really sick (like the flu).  So I am sitting in the bathroom, not knowing which to do, throw up or piss out my ass.  My kids get up and make their own dinners (Rizzi is working) and while my son is eating, he leaves the table, comes to the bathroom door and checks on me.  He says, in his 8 year old voice, “Momma, are you ok?”  I tell him that I’m fine, but that my stomach is yucky.  He says, “well I’ll leave dinner at the table to check on you.”  Cutie!!  So, while still sitting in the bathroom fighting off that sick feeling, Cheyenne comes to the door and asks if she can come in.  I told her it probably wasn’t a good idea, but hey, she thought I was wrong apparently.  She slowly opens the door, holds out a thermometer and tells me, “here momma, this will tell you if your sick.”  How can you not love that?

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I’m so excited for fall to be here.  Any other fall freaks here?  I pulled down all the summer decor through the house and had the chance to put up all the fall color fare…and it makes me happy.  Is that weird?  The Mabon Sabbat is upon us and I can’t wait for more fires in the firepit and good friends roasting hotdogs, melting marshmellows and just enjoying each others company.  Tonight is the first night that we’ll use the firepit and I can’t help but feel sheer excitement.  I soooo sluffed school today so I could be with my girl and go shopping for my sisters wedding.  She will marry on the 20th of this month and I love that it’s in the fall, what better time of year than to dedicate yourself to someone?

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So I sit on my porch…

and watch the world….probably cause I have a shit load of homework to do but I’m to tired to do it.  It’s nice though, to stop and watch the world.  Right now the chimes jingle their high pitch as the sound of a 70;s something truck drives by.  The glass man, who is replacing a broken windshield of a neighbor’s car, has the radio on to some talk radio…it’s more of a low murmur.  Even the intruding “ugly” sounds seem pleasant right now.  The skater kid, who lives 2 houses down, throws his board to the ground and begins to ride off his young wife calls out to him that she loves him.  His reply, “I love you too, but I’m still mad.”  His honesty is no doubt unpleasant, but it’s filled with so much truth it’s hard to ignore.  The high school near by has just released it’s prisoners, and they shuffle on by talking about, “katie is so mean, she can be so bitchy….” as it trails off as they leave my area of the house.  The school bus, as yellow can be, noisily makes it’s presence known.  In all of this, I sit typing, looking up momentarily to notice the woodpecker on the neighbors tree.  He’s making a home and I love to watch him.  I love my life, it is so small compared to the universe, but HUGE because of all that I see and feel while I’m in it!!

I’m off to watch kids run as fast as humanly possible down a hill, with backpacks shaking and rumbling behind them, sweep them up into my arms and hug them huge!!!  It’s the little things that make my heart sing!!

PS – No, I’m not taking my mind altering drugs anymore and yes…I am a ROCKSTAR at heart!!

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The story of my saggy left boob

Have any of you woke up one day to see your left breast sagging an inch lower than your right??  I DID!!  Weird….freaked out….what else can I say except that I hollered for Rizzi to come look at my poor sagging girl.  She confirmed that I wasn’t crazy and it in fact, over night, decided to drop.  Now maybe I should mention that I have implants, so sagging is not a good thing.  I stared in the mirror at my boobs for at least an hour.  I put my arms up, yep still saggy.  I placed my hands on my hips…yep, same result.  I finally dressed (though I peaked a few more times during the day to make sure lefty wasn’t just playing a joke on me) and called my Plastic Surgeon.  He’s an honest great man and fit me in the next day.

Now, I’ve had my “girls” for 10 years, as I was sick of looking like a 12 year old boy in a bikini.  Truth be known I really made the decision for a guy that was infactuated with big boobs.  Before him I never really put any thought into breasts…I didn’t really have any so I didn’t think about them.  Once I got them it was amazing the attention I got…from everyone, including women.  I grew to love them and thought I looked great in my clothes.  So when I entered the office of the PS and he explained that I had to get them out I was torn.  I wanted to be natural again, but was scared of the outcome.  He explained that he could put other implants in, but I said no “get em outta me!”  He explained that with my age my skin would probably bounce back.  PROBABLY….that word was scary ,but hey, I just wanted to be healthy again.  He scheduled my surgery for that Friday.  Only 3 days left with my round, supple girls.

Day of surgery. . . like your really excited to get your boobs out.  It took a total of 3 seconds for me to go out and then I remember a nurse telling me that everything went well.  If that’s the case why does it feel like a gorilla is sitting on my chest.  But in typical Marcy fashion I just said thanks, to which the nurse said, your so polite and I again said thanks.  My mouth kept saying thanks, and my mind was screaming, JACKASS TELL HER YOUR IN PAIN.  This nurse was apparently a mind reader because she gave me some pain meds in my IV.  Time passes strangely when medicated, but I do remember seeing Rizzi and my sister come to my bed.  Big smiles all around.  I was still a little in and out, but I do remember my sister pulling down my bandages and telling me that my boobs were so cute.  Cute?  No I want them to be mesmerizing for Christ sake!!  

I had drains in for four days (GROSS!!!) and had an appointment on Tuesday to get them removed.  Ok, what an experience that was.  They start pulling them out and I feel it in my armpits, it was by far the strangest feeling ever.  They took off the bandages and let me look…..AHHHH!!  It was prune like skin just hanging there.  I so wanted to cry.  I decided at that moment that I hated them.  My left breast was flat, like flatter than a pancake flat.  My right one was ok, she had some umph.

So today, 6 days out of surgery, they are starting to get “fluffy”  Do you own a feather pillow?  If you do you’ll understand.  You know every now and then you have to fluff it up to get it all round and big again right?  Well that’s how I’m viewing my boobs.  Each day that goes by they seem to fluff back up.  The PS told me that I’d have a better idea of size and “fluffiness” in two months, until then, I’ll just keep giving them pep talks, a few pats here and there and play with them (real boobs really are funner!!!)

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