Are you fucking kidding me????

Why. . why is disease wasted on the best the world has to offer?  Why. . do again find myself reliving the day I was diagnosed??  Seriously, I’m not sure I can watch her waste away to nothing!  Stage IV cancer comes with a vengeance and unfortunately my friend is at the “prime age” of mortality.  I know well enough I will remain the white light of happiness I am known for, but damn, I can’t help but sit with tear blurred eyes and feel anger.  You see, my friend has dedicated her life to helping others, most of whom could care less to help themselves.  Despite all of this she remains one of THE happiest people I know.  When she rides up to work on her old school cruise bike, with a basket I might add, she radiates positive energy like no other.  Through her life’s work with the Mentally Ill, she has found balance in her life like no other.  She puts up with my Shenanigans and through our time at work have become good friends.  Puts into perspective, AGAIN, how quickly a friendship can be made and taken away.

Her first treatment of Chemo was today. . two hours long. . and if you know anything about Chemo, that is going to make her sicker than I can even imagine.  Even in my days of Chemo, nothing was this horrible for me.  And though all I want to do is hug her, not let her go and tell her it will be OK, I’m not sure I’d be telling the truth.  Despite my misgivings of prognosis and theories, my gut is telling me to prepare for the worst. . Not sure how to handle that, as I tend to see the positive in ALL situations.

When I spoke with her, she was sure that she wouldn’t be here long, but had to try for everyone else’s sake.  When she told me that she loves me, I cried. . and that incredible woman said, “Marcy, it’ll be OK.”  Always the one to make it better for the Universe.

Advertisements

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

One response to “Are you fucking kidding me????

  1. very sorry to hear about your friend. seems like this diseases attack the best people. my mom had agressive cancer too…and i know it wasn’t right, but couldn’t help to think there were so many people who “deserved” it and why her? so i know what you feel.

    continue to see the positive and don’t give up hope! that’s wonderful that she has a good friend like you!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s