Monthly Archives: January 2010

“Congratulations on becoming. .

a new woman business owner!  Now for a mere $508.00 we can get people across America to network with you.”  Well fast talking solicitor I don’t think that paying you will be beneficial for networking in Virginia when I TRAIN DOGS!!  Unless of course the client is absolutely loaded, I don’t forsee my business being national.  Why is it human nature to boosts a persons ego, only to ask for money?  I think businesses have it all wrong.  I think they should call and say, “your business profit SUCKS.  You really aren’t doing what you could be doing for you business.  Now if you want to give me half of your taxes/life savings I can get your name out there.”  See, I might think about it then, only because this person was so honest.  I’m finding that blunt honesty is a less common commodity amongst the masses.  I miss people being completely honest.  Watered down versions of truths are still lies. . just sayin’

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Life is fragile. .

that’s what my sister has told me a hundred times.  And she’s right, it can go away in seconds.  I always find it strange that you can live years. . thousands of days, and like that.  .poof. . it’s gone.

My work doesn’t tend to bother me, seeing the negative day in and day out usual has the opposite effect on me.  I tend to stay positive when others are bogged down in negativity, but every so often I have a moment when it gets in. . when my barriers slip and I allow myself to feel another persons pain.  Though I won’t bore you with details of the event, I can tell you that she took her own life.  I’m sure she had more reasons, in her mind, to die than to live, but I still wish she would have picked up the phone.  I’m not saying that I could have saved her, but it would have saved me from second guessing.  I suppose that is selfish, as I am the one there to help her.  And I suppose that is really arrogant, as whos to say that I’m that good at helping, but I hate the game of . . what if?

She was a stranger to me, I knew her only on the paper provided to me.  Nothing was exceptional about her.  She worked, lived in an average house and owned pets.  Overall, a good person.  But I know that her last hours were filled with great emotional turmoil and I suppose that’s what bothers me.  I think every person should have the right to die peacefully.  Hers was filled with anguish and despair.  And, in my opinion, she just wanted someone to love her. . truly love her.  Not so long ago I could relate.  Not that I would have taken my own life, I know I’m too selfish and egotistical for that, but I understand being emotionally deprived and just wanting, EARNING, for someone to love me for me.

This is were my perspective shifts.  I’m  the luckiest girl in the galaxy.  I was leaving the house for the event above Rizzi was googling maps for me (I’m horrible with directions).  She was asking me if I had everything and began listing off things I may need.  She was worried I wouldn’t have enough snacks or drinks and putting things in my go bag.  She’s wonderful.  She truly loves me!  She loves me for all the good and the bad, and I know on occasion I take that for granted.  So to the woman I wished would have answered the phone, thank you for reminding me what is important, thank you for reminding me who I used to be and who I have become.

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