Going back to school is the best thing I’ve ever done for myself! But in doing so, I’ve found less time to write in my blog. With writing critical analysis and making chapbooks (look it up it’s really cool!) I’ve found less time to write about what’s going on with general life.
Wyatt and Cheyenne are doing amazing in school (straight A’s) and both are spending the weekends with their dad. Makes me sad not to have them here on their days off school, but I know that their school work is getting done. I hate that we can’t just pack up the car and head off to the museum or planetarium … we did get a telescope so my spaced out (in the good way) son can enjoy the night sky. Cheyenne is obsessed with duct tape and making wallets with it. It’s amazing to watch them grow up and find their interests. Wyatt has his whole life mapped out, ok he’s had it down for at least 3 years, and he’s determined he will get his PhD in geology (he’s going to be a Palentologist of course!)
Rizzi is still at the S.O, but it’s worked out really well. Rizzi is my constant, my best friend and just amazing! I’d be lost without her and quite frankly she’s put up with more than she has too! I’d be so damn lost without her!!
I start the U of U in Jan and I’m so excited! It’s amazing to follow your dreams! Don’t let fear tether you from your life … that is my best learned lesson this year!
Starting today I made a commitment to do a blog post about each person on my friends list on Facebook. Perhaps it will show me who I truly appreciate and ensure that I am surrounding myself with people I care for, or it will show me I need to clean out my list 🙂
So I pull up my list and the first on that list … my sexy girlfriend. It’s hard to describe what I have with her except to say I truly have my bestfriend as a lover. She is kind, patient, endearing, supportive and loving. I can tell her everything … no really EVERYTHING and she loves me all the same. She listens to my crazy ideas and tells me that they are not impossible. She is my version of a “wubbie”, as she is my balance and she is safe to me. She fills me up when I’m empty and allows me to empty out all my craziness so that I don’t burst. She believes in me … she finds me amazing and quite frankly, she’s perfect for me. After close to 7 years I still find myself giddy to come home to her …
I love her more than I though possible and each day I find myself falling in love with her all over again ….
Yep, those golden circles of goodness. Though most people have had the opportunity to have pancakes in their lives, I was lucky enough for it to be a huge event in my life. My dad, in typical Sunday fashion, would have my sister in I, in our nightgowns, lifted up to the counter and help make a slew of them every Sunday.
I would typically Bogart the stirring in of the eggs, watching the batter turn a yellow while folding the eggs in. We ALWAYS used a wooden spoon to do our stirring. I can remember my dad, with his towel draped across his shoulder, giving us words of encouragement and making the whole ordeal exciting. I would watch him take his ladle and dip it gently into the batter. He would pour the batter on to the hot griddle and I can remember the sizzle sound it would make. It was a science and my dad had perfected it. I loved sitting cross-legged on that counter watching my dad. It made me feel special … HE made me feel special.
When my parents, after my sister and I had longed moved out, gutted the kitchen to install a new more modern kitchen I couldn’t help be sad when the old yellow counters were removed. The majority of my life was spent sitting on or at that counter with years of conversations, laughter, and at times conflict. Though I knew rationally that many more memories would be made in the new kitchen, emotional Marcy just longed to be a little girl for a few more days of making pancakes with my dad.
For father’s day we headed over to my parents house for … you guessed it… pancakes. As I came around the corner of the kitchen I was humbled to see my little Cheyenne mixing the flour and getting the batter ready with my dad. And though she is too big to sit on the counter cross-legged, she was watching my dad like I used to when I was little. She sat with the spatula in her hands while my dad coaching her on when to flip them. It brought tears to my eyes.
You see, in all reality, it’s the small things your parents give you that you cherish the most. It’s not the washer and dryers (though I’m hugely thankful for those gifts and so are my friends) but it’s the times teaching each other while having fun. It’s the moments, as an adult myself, hearing myself telling stories like my parents. It’s catching myself, whenever I cook, with a towel draped across my shoulder. It’s those moments that I stop what I’m doing and think about how much I truly love my parents. I love them! More than they will ever know
The house is lonely
The morning isn’t as bright and warm as it should be
The plans made for the day are cut short at not involving you
My laughter is only half of what it could be
The house is much too quiet
Though I know it’s important to share you both, when your gone I feel selfish, because I just want you back with me
Memories are still being created without you in them
When your not here …
I just want to sit on the couch, do nothing, until your freckled faced smiles come crashing through the front door …
The deep orange quickly evaporates to yellow. The snapping of sap. The heat waves rising to the sky. The way she moves as she shuffles the wood into piles for the fire in the backyard. The sky, as blue as the ocean with not a single cloud in sight. The tweet of birds perched on the telephone wires … summer is on its way and with her brings the future memories of family and friends.
Sun kissed faces and sun burnt shoulders will be a guest in this house. In preparation for her visit I have stocked the sun tan lotion, water balloons and popsicles. The kids wait with jubilation (and frustration at times) for her return.
Scraped knees and broken bones from past summers are forgotten during the long drab winters. Thoughts of BBQ’s, beer and baseball overtake the dreariness of snow shovels, salt and slide offs.
What the outdoors has to offer becomes the highly rated sitcoms during the evenings. Watching ladybugs dance on flowers and the honeybees pollinate are the back up singers to this concert.
Red, white and blue are the colors of choice for her visit, as she likes to be noticed. She encourages running through sprinklers and long walks into well lit evenings. She beckons everyone with her warmth; come outside, enjoy life, friends and family a little more than her relatives.
None of us like to think of her departure so we slap on some more sunscreen, crack open another beer and settle into our lawn chairs, laughing, talking and loving each other a little longer … surrounded by orange that evaporates into yellow.