Category Archives: Making a home

Second class citizen …

It is a simple process to diminish a persons worth, place them in the category of 2nd class citizen and devalue their human capacity to love.  Really, it is as simple as structuring laws around ideology of religions or “morals” or outdated notions that fetter the love of two adults.

Walking up to the counter to pick up my prescription I knew that it would be a little pricey.  I don’t have medical insurance, even though my partner of 8 years works in Law Enforcement and has excellent benefits, I cannot be added because we are not “legally married.”

That’s what they say, “you have to be legally married” as if this were an option that is available to us but we have been too stupid or lazy to take the time to wed one another.

I give the pharmacist my name and he happily asks for my insurance card.  Seems like a simple question but this question is deeper than having no insurance or having insurance.

Though I have worked since I was 15 years old, paid into the system like everyone else and had insurance up until a year and a half ago I chose (a real choice) to return to school.  Any other woman, who “chose” to marry a man with insurance could make this decision without being worried about her medical future.  I, on the other hand, am not privy to these options.

When I explain that I have no insurance the pharmacist says, “I don’t want to tell you the price.”  I ask if it is pretty bad and he again replies, “I really don’t want to tell you.”  He turns the computer screen in my direction and I notice the price $350.45.  I chuckle and say, “I expected it to be around $300.00.”  He just stares at me and then points to the bottom of the screen.  $658.45!  “I can’t pay that” was my feeble reply.  Shock doesn’t really convey my disbelief because really, I’m angry.  I’m absolutely washed over with anger, rage that can only bring about tears.

I call my doctor wanting a cheaper alternative, but I know that my call is in vain.  I understand that my call will only be met with, “not sure what to tell ya” or “sorry, there is no generic.”

Yet I can see, in my minds eye, that prescription card in my partners’ wallet, sitting there, providing a warm blanket of comfort.  A woobie of security that will not be extended to me, or be able to wrap it’s loving care of health around my shoulders.  This card is missing my name.  This card that identifies her only as single is a lie.  She is not single!

She pays all of the bills, supporting our three kids and us.  She is not single; she is happily partnered for eight wonderful years.  In this time we have made our commit for one another known to our family, friends, co-workers, fellow students, our community-at-large and quite frankly the whole world if it would let us.

In this time we have made memories as a family, each and everyday.  We eat at the dinner table every night.  We share our “best” and “worst” moments of the day while we eat home cooked meals.  We have all laughed together, often.  We have yelled at one another less often.  We have experienced loss of friends together and the birth of friend’s children.  We have taken road trips across half the nation, all five us packed into a small car, just to dangle our feet in foamy ocean waters, lay in the sun and take too many pictures of the same sand dollar.

We have spent all our holidays with our families, taking turns to go to California to visit hers, and the other years with my family in Utah.  My kids are given Christmas cards and gifts from her family and my family extends the same love of her son.

We are a family.  A family stretched across this nation through family lineage.  Our ancestors worked just as hard, as diligently and maintained their loyalty to this nation.  Yet this nation isn’t loyal to me.  This nation continues to degrade my life by simple things like insurance cards.

All of this simply because I didn’t fall in love with a man.  Simply because I “chose” to share my life with my best friend, confidante, cheer leading squad and the absolute purest love I’ve ever experienced.  That’s not good enough.  I “chose” to disrupt a societal system of dominant thinking.  I “chose” to live a life that is second class FOR love, but still, that’s not enough.  Even handing over 658.45 (which I didn’t do, simply because who has that kind of money) would it wrap me up the warm blanket of acceptance?  Would that money guarantee me that I’d never have to feel the sting of second-class citizenship?

Of course not!

The only way that I will be allowed to feel like a full citizen of the United States is when laws change.  When people, regardless of sexual orientation, recognize that my love is no less than theirs.  That my commitment to my family, friends, children and lover are no different.


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Filed under Frustration, Making a home, My kids, My thoughts

Ode to Summer

I want to write, but what is there to say that hasn’t been spoken?  Wouldn’t I just be crafting a work of art that would be considered Mimetic?

Often times, while sitting in my white pillared, warm and worn home, I stare out the front window.  Through this looking glass I’m presented with big green leaves that are kissed by the sun, the gossip of robins and caws of unseen crows.  The old tree, with his bark stained chocolate brown with age, bends to and fro in the breeze of the summer afternoon.  The chitchat of the neighborhood provides a low hum as the afternoon sun burns, slowly sinking to the west.

In these moments of normality I often question what more is there to write about? What is more beautiful then an afternoon summer?

It couldn’t be the stark boney fingers of the Maple tree protruding into the grey skies.  It couldn’t be the harrowing cries of wind pushing the brown crunchy leaves across the road.  And with great confidence I declare, it couldn’t possibly be the screech of metal shovels pushing aside the slushy tears of Mother Nature.

Summer allows us to embrace nature, to sit with her, caress her golden braids of light and dive into the warmth of her waters.  Summer allows for naked feet to massage her back and for hands to grip her as they aspire to climb to new perspective.  Summer is living.

Perhaps there would be those that disagree, and who am I to say their opinions are wrong?  However, I’d say that those people would rather argue these points on a friendly porch, with slices of lemon wedges adorning their drinks.  Sitting on Adirondack chairs of youth and flipped flopped feet, we’d lock horns on it’s worth.  Quarrelling in the cumbersome costumes of winter would dampen the mood.  We can agree that most would rather sip on foamy beer, in tank tops, and debate over a sizzling BBQ than sip on unreliable ciders and wait for the electric glow of appliances.

Summer, my heart grows wane and murky while you vacation.  You know I will wait as patient as possible, and upon your return, I will shower you with laughter and late night visits.  I will stoke your heart with stories over fire pits and warm your mind with gooey marshmallows.  Most of all, I’ll show my kids how to treat you with care so that you will continue to return and teach them how too love as deeply as a Shepherd’s Tree.


Filed under Family Time, Making a home, My kids, My thoughts, Thinking of Friends

Alicia Rizzi

Starting today I made a commitment to do a blog post about each person on my friends list on Facebook.  Perhaps it will show me who I truly appreciate and ensure that I am surrounding myself with people I care for, or it will show me I need to clean out my list 🙂

So I pull up my list and the first on that list … my sexy girlfriend.  It’s hard to describe what I have with her except to say I truly have my bestfriend as a lover.  She is kind, patient, endearing, supportive and loving.  I can tell her everything … no really EVERYTHING and she loves me all the same.  She listens to my crazy ideas and tells me that they are not impossible.  She is my version of a “wubbie”, as she is my balance and she is safe to me.  She fills me up when I’m empty and allows me to empty out all my craziness so that I don’t burst.  She believes in me … she finds me amazing and quite frankly, she’s perfect for me.  After close to 7 years I still find myself giddy to come home to her …

I love her more than I though possible and each day I find myself falling in love with her all over again ….


Filed under Family Time, Making a home, My thoughts, Relationships, Thinking of Friends

Orange evaporating into Yellow

The deep orange quickly evaporates to yellow.  The snapping of sap.  The heat waves rising to the sky.  The way she moves as she shuffles the wood into piles for the fire in the backyard.  The sky, as blue as the ocean with not a single cloud in sight.  The tweet of birds perched on the telephone wires … summer is on its way and with her brings the future memories of family and friends.

Sun kissed faces and sun burnt shoulders will be a guest in this house.  In preparation for her visit I have stocked the sun tan lotion, water balloons and popsicles.  The kids wait with jubilation (and frustration at times) for her return.

Scraped knees and broken bones from past summers are forgotten during the long drab winters.  Thoughts of BBQ’s, beer and baseball overtake the dreariness of snow shovels, salt and slide offs.

What the outdoors has to offer becomes the highly rated sitcoms during the evenings.  Watching ladybugs dance on flowers and the honeybees pollinate are the back up singers to this concert.

Red, white and blue are the colors of choice for her visit, as she likes to be noticed.  She encourages running through sprinklers and long walks into well lit evenings.  She beckons everyone with her warmth; come outside, enjoy life, friends and family a little more than her relatives.

None of us like to think of her departure so we slap on some more sunscreen, crack open another beer and settle into our lawn chairs, laughing, talking and loving each other a little longer … surrounded by orange that evaporates into yellow.

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Filed under Family Time, Making a home, My kids, My thoughts, Relationships, Thinking of Friends

What the hell. .

I was awoken to sore throat from hell!  And yes, Sgt. Driggs is to blame, as he came to work knowing his kids had strep throat!  I sooo don’t want to miss work, as I”m loving the new facility I am in.  I’m going to have to hurt someone!

On a lighter note, have been talking with a new friend in Austin, TX. . CJ!  Your the coolest!  

Been working in the house and I”m happy to say that I now am a proud owner of Central Air. . come on summer, I ain’t sceered no more!  Painting and changing lights in the house have been good times:



















This is before (right) and after (left)


It’s the little things that make a big difference 🙂

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Filed under Family Time, Making a home